“Self-Care” or Don’t, It Doesn’t Make You A Better Person

We see the photos all the time, that perfectly curated moleskin notebook with a cup of coffee placed on a perfectly curated table in a beautiful all-white living room surrounded by green plants, typically with a caption all about how self-care is so important and how writing in a journal and meditating every day is key to a successful life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good moleskin notebook like the next girl and I certainly love to write. But let’s be honest, how realistic is this? How many people can or even want to have a slow morning filled with journal writing and reading?

Guess what, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you can’t meditate, journal, read or do yoga in the morning. I used to think there was. I fought is so hard. I tried waking up at an ungodly hour to meditate and journal. I tried to like it. You could almost say I forced myself to like it. Until one day I said F this, this is not who I am and DAMN, THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT.

The more I learn about personality types and how we are all designed so differently, I have stopped putting this pressure on myself. Journaling, meditating, and reading in the morning does not resonate with me. It is NOT who I am. I have ALL the energy in the morning and would much rather put that towards a workout or getting some work done. YES, there are mornings I love to do some yoga and breathing but there are others I wake up and want nothing to do with it. And that is OKAY.

At one point in my life I thought that was wrong. I felt almost guilty that I didn’t enjoy having that picture perfect instagram self-care morning.

My idea of meditation is making a coffee or matcha and going for a walk around the neighborhood or sitting in my backyard with the sun on my face. AND no, this certainly does not happen every morning. I tried the morning self-care “thing”- it’s NOT for me. I run off productivity and if I can be getting in a good workout or getting some work done I feel so much more accomplished and better about the day than doing said journaling or reading or whatever the heck everyone else is pushing for a “successful life.” Hell, I am damn successful and I have never journal-ed a day in my life.

As an NTP, I find that most of my clients are stressed. I mean really stressed out. The stress to try and find the time to do self-care can actually be worse on your health than just skipping it all together. I also talk a lot about finding that time for self-care but we have to remember, self-care to one person looks a lot different to another.

This is a reminder that just because the person next to you can journal, read and do yoga in the morning and you can’t seem to find the time to just make a simple breakfast does not mean they are any better than you.

Do what makes you happy. Maybe just treating yourself to that coffee on the way to work is your “self-care”, you do you girlfriend!

Choose YOUR version of self-care.

Photo: My version of self-care in my backyard. Yoga before the sun goes down on a 90 degree day.